Dear Bio Parents,
I don't even know where to begin. When we started this nearly three months ago, I thought maybe you could do it, just maybe. I know any addiction is a disease, but I had hope that you would turn it around. I even thought I saw remorse in your eyes. Apparently, I did not. I should have listened to my gut. My gut said, "Not gonna happen. They'll put on a show for a little while, and then they will disappear." I ignored my gut- shame on me.
Please tell me how you can look into your baby's big brown eyes and not even try for his sake? How can you not do right by this beautiful baby? How can you cancel visits, or not even show up at all? Why are we even going through the motions if you aren't even going to try? The last time I checked, babies were not just dropped off on your doorstep, so you knew what you were doing and you had time to change your behaviors. But if carrying a precious life didn't make you change, then why would bringing this little miracle into the world make a difference. Please don't tell me what a "miracle he is", or comment on his "rough start" again. You are the reason for the "rough start"- try taking responsibility for that. It would be a great first step. And please stop speaking to me like I am a friend doing you a favor, because I'm not.
You can tell me you are his mom all you want, and that may be true. But know this- I am his MOTHER. I feed, and change, and dress, and play with, and rock him to sleep every day. He looks into my eyes and smiles, because he only knows me as his mommy. I thought about this long and hard, and I came to realize you have the perfect situation. You have to buy one pack of diapers and a can of formula every three months. You don't get up in the middle of the night, and you don't have to deal with any medical issues or constant crying. You spend four to five blissful hours a week with him and then send him on his way.
If, by some miracle, he goes back to you, we may all die a little inside. What will happen to this precious baby when he is taken from the only home he knows? I pray that you make one important "parenting" decision for him, and that is to do what is best for him- whatever that may be. It may not mean he stays with us and we become his forever family, but as long as the outcome is the best for him, then so be it.
I want you to know that my heart aches and I cry for him. I cry because of the rough start he had. I cry because you don't make any effort. I cry because I love him so very much, and I don't want anything or anyone to hurt him. I am grateful he is so young, because he has no idea what is going on.
I also want you to know how much he is loved. Not a day goes by that he doesn't hear "I love you". He gets kisses and hugs, smiles and snuggles all day, every day. Our friends and family have embraced him and love him almost as much as we do.
I hope the end result is in his best interest. He will always hold a special place in my heart, and I will always love this beautiful miracle.
Sincerely,
The Foster Mom
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