It is amazing how one two-hour visit can derail all progress that has been made thus far. The little guy has been coming around and seemed to be adjusting better. He even said "Up" yesterday when he wanted to get in his highchair for lunch. He has been throwing fewer fits, and knows when he is doing something he shouldn't and has started redirecting himself. He still has moments, but it was getting better.
Today he had a visit with family, and it seems that all progress has been lost. At first he was happy and smiley, playing- and then it all turned around. I think it was a matter of thirty minutes before it started going down hill. He started arching and throwing himself to the floor, screaming and crying, throwing things, and hitting. I am hoping that he is just tired and it has been a long day, but I am discouraged. I honestly don't think I can start all over again. It's depressing really.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Ugh!
Adjusting to the new little guy has been nothing short of a challenge. Being the baby of a lot(!) of kids, he hasn't had much, if any, discipline. I thought he had some developmental delays, but then I realized that he was blatantly ignoring me. Isn't 14 months a little young to completely tune someone out? He doesn't respond to anything, including his name, and will stare blankly off into space. Completely frustrating.
Temper tantrums are the name of the game with this one. He doesn't speak (only uses four words), so instead of trying to communicate he will whine and literally throw himself into things. He throws himself into the crib railing, the tile floor, walls, furniture, and he just barely missed the brick fireplace the other day. It is so aggravating that he is over a year old and doesn't talk. He should at least be able to say milk, ball, or down, instead of a grunt, a whine, and a complete freak out. I am trying to work with him but he is not interested, and when I try he throws a fit. Awesome.
Bedtime and nap time are ridiculous. It turns out that he was NEVER put to bed alone. He would always sleep with someone else, meaning he did not have a set nap time or bedtime. He goes to bed crying and screaming, wakes up throughout the night, and wakes up crying in the morning. Thank God the other baby is so mellow- he just rolls over and goes to sleep.
There has been a little bit of a decrease in the amount of tantrums thrown. I think he may be beginning to realize that I don't tolerate this behavior. You can throw your fit- in the Pack N Play (to avoid injury), but I will not engage. I will tell you no, and I don't give in to tiny tyrant tantrums or demands. We'll get there eventually, and then he will go to another placement and I will get to start all over again with the next placement. Tis the life of a foster family.
I do my best to give them the love and attention they require and meet their needs. Some days are harder than others, and I pray for bedtime. And other days I question what I am doing and want to bang my head into the wall. I am so grateful that I have fantastic friends who are more than willing to help me out, whether at their home or mine. This would be so much harder if it weren't for you.
Being a foster parent is rewarding, but it is also more difficult than I thought it would be. You cannot discipline foster kids like you would your own. The only form of acceptable discipline is time out, and we all know that doesn't work on some kids- especially ones who lack any kind of discipline. Sure, let me get this one-year-old to sit in the same spot, quietly, for 60 seconds. There is also the last minute visits, dealing with manipulative parents, and always waiting for information.
I wake up every day hoping that today will be better. We will bond a little more, work on communicating, play together, and hopefully have at least one less tantrum. Here's to another day of opportunity!
Temper tantrums are the name of the game with this one. He doesn't speak (only uses four words), so instead of trying to communicate he will whine and literally throw himself into things. He throws himself into the crib railing, the tile floor, walls, furniture, and he just barely missed the brick fireplace the other day. It is so aggravating that he is over a year old and doesn't talk. He should at least be able to say milk, ball, or down, instead of a grunt, a whine, and a complete freak out. I am trying to work with him but he is not interested, and when I try he throws a fit. Awesome.
Bedtime and nap time are ridiculous. It turns out that he was NEVER put to bed alone. He would always sleep with someone else, meaning he did not have a set nap time or bedtime. He goes to bed crying and screaming, wakes up throughout the night, and wakes up crying in the morning. Thank God the other baby is so mellow- he just rolls over and goes to sleep.
There has been a little bit of a decrease in the amount of tantrums thrown. I think he may be beginning to realize that I don't tolerate this behavior. You can throw your fit- in the Pack N Play (to avoid injury), but I will not engage. I will tell you no, and I don't give in to tiny tyrant tantrums or demands. We'll get there eventually, and then he will go to another placement and I will get to start all over again with the next placement. Tis the life of a foster family.
I do my best to give them the love and attention they require and meet their needs. Some days are harder than others, and I pray for bedtime. And other days I question what I am doing and want to bang my head into the wall. I am so grateful that I have fantastic friends who are more than willing to help me out, whether at their home or mine. This would be so much harder if it weren't for you.
Being a foster parent is rewarding, but it is also more difficult than I thought it would be. You cannot discipline foster kids like you would your own. The only form of acceptable discipline is time out, and we all know that doesn't work on some kids- especially ones who lack any kind of discipline. Sure, let me get this one-year-old to sit in the same spot, quietly, for 60 seconds. There is also the last minute visits, dealing with manipulative parents, and always waiting for information.
I wake up every day hoping that today will be better. We will bond a little more, work on communicating, play together, and hopefully have at least one less tantrum. Here's to another day of opportunity!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Our New Little Guy
Our foster license was successfully amended over a week ago. We can now have two foster children at one time, and I have to wonder what I was thinking. CPS wasted little time in placing another baby with us, this time a 14-month-old boy. Let's just say that the 6-month-old has spoiled me.
The new little guy came with zero information and epic temper tantrums. To say the last eight days have been a challenge would be an understatement, and I have been pushed to my limit. Thanks to wonderful friends who have stepped in to give me a break, we have made it through the first week (mostly) intact. I have had to take a step back, breath deeply, and remember that this baby is the way he is due to his circumstances. It is evident that no one worked with him, so he doesn't talk much (he only says two words- "Mom" and "Don't"), he doesn't seem to comprehend questions or understand much of what is going on around him, and he throws the worst temper tantrums I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with- he goes completely limp and will just drop to the floor. Bedtime and nap time are a bit of a nightmare because he literally throws himself into the crib railing. I wish there was something more I could do for him, but my only option is to let him be (in his contained environment- per the pediatrician), and hope that he starts to understand that fits don't get you what you want. I can confidently say that I doubt he had set nap times or bedtimes, was given bottles to keep him quiet, and he really had to compete for attention. I have a lot of work ahead of me!
I may get frustrated, and cry, but in the end I just hope that we make a difference for him. My days are difficult, and I may vent my frustrations, but this baby needs me just like the other one does. Unfortunately, he will probably be moved to his permanent home once we get a routine down, and then it will start all over again with the next one.
The new little guy came with zero information and epic temper tantrums. To say the last eight days have been a challenge would be an understatement, and I have been pushed to my limit. Thanks to wonderful friends who have stepped in to give me a break, we have made it through the first week (mostly) intact. I have had to take a step back, breath deeply, and remember that this baby is the way he is due to his circumstances. It is evident that no one worked with him, so he doesn't talk much (he only says two words- "Mom" and "Don't"), he doesn't seem to comprehend questions or understand much of what is going on around him, and he throws the worst temper tantrums I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with- he goes completely limp and will just drop to the floor. Bedtime and nap time are a bit of a nightmare because he literally throws himself into the crib railing. I wish there was something more I could do for him, but my only option is to let him be (in his contained environment- per the pediatrician), and hope that he starts to understand that fits don't get you what you want. I can confidently say that I doubt he had set nap times or bedtimes, was given bottles to keep him quiet, and he really had to compete for attention. I have a lot of work ahead of me!
I may get frustrated, and cry, but in the end I just hope that we make a difference for him. My days are difficult, and I may vent my frustrations, but this baby needs me just like the other one does. Unfortunately, he will probably be moved to his permanent home once we get a routine down, and then it will start all over again with the next one.
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