Hurdle #1- Cleared!

Today has been a very eventful day, to say the least.  We now have a case number for our adoption certification, we received information from licensing to increase the number foster kids we can have to two, and we had court this afternoon to change the baby's case plan. 

After a small delay due to scheduling conflicts (because the courts schedule three hearings for the same time...) and the tardiness of an attorney, the case plan has been changed to severance and adoption.  So, YAY!  We cleared the first hurdle and we couldn't be happier.  We now have a severance hearing scheduled at the beginning of September, and we will see where it goes from there.  We still have a 90% chance of becoming his forever family, and we are so excited!  As I have said before, I truly believe he was meant to be ours. 

Being a foster parent is so emotionally draining.  I feel like I am on pins and needles most of the time, and the waiting drives me nuts.  There are days when I wonder if I am doing the right thing, and wonder if I really am cut out for this.  I go through some days just dreading what it would be like if CPS decided the baby should be somewhere else or with his bio family.  I lose sleep over it, I cry over it, and it makes me sad some days.   The closer we get to the severance and the adoption, I'm sure I will be a nervous and emotional wreck- just like I was today and have been for the last six months. But then I look at this miracle baby and I know that we are doing the right thing, we are cut out for this, and we are making a huge difference in this child's life.  I know that we have given this baby a chance he may not have otherwise had.  I read to him, I play with him, I talk to him, and I take care of every need he has.  In our hearts, he is ours and he is right where he needs to be. 

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers.  They are greatly appreciated!  I cannot wait until this is all over and done so we can legally call him ours.

The Waiting Game

I never expected to do so much waiting.  It is difficult to get clear answers to my many questions because each question can have multiple outcomes.  The waiting is driving me crazy!

On the bright side, we have a 90% chance of being the baby's forever family and I am so excited!  On the flip side, there is still a 10% chance that he won't be ours, so I am trying really hard to stay grounded.  I don't think I can stand the heartache if they take him away.  In our minds, and hearts, he is already ours.  He belongs with us, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is my child.

A  few weeks ago I received an email from his mom stating that she wanted to sign him over to us.  She knew in her heart that she cannot take care of him and that she knew he was where he belongs, and she was going to contact her attorney to proceed.  That was three weeks ago, and I have yet to hear anything.  It looks like we will have to wait until court at the end of the month to find out what is going on.  It is so frustrating and my nerves are shot.  I really want to have him stay and be ours, but I can't fully let myself go there yet.