Never Ending

I am still haunted by the child abuse allegation, and I am at my wits end!  I called the investigations office today to check on the status of my closure letter, only to find out that the investigator no longer works for the agency and she did not give all of her notes to her supervisor before she left.  This means that our report has been sitting on someone's desk for at least two weeks.

Luckily for me I am extremely impatient when it comes to getting answers and I called the supervisor instead of leaving a message.  She happened to be in the office and was able to interview me over the phone, and she promised to finish our report this week.  So, hopefully we will have our closure letter no later than Friday and we can finally move on.

In the course of our interview she read the full allegation report to me and I am floored.  I am angry, I am hurt, and I feel so helpless.  The allegation was much worse than I thought it was, and the allegation also implied that I treated Little Man differently because he was Hispanic.  Laughable, but very hurtful.  I will not go into details, but everything in the report is false.  I have a feeling this medical assistant may be a "serial reporter" because of some of the terminology used in the report.

I did try to speak to my doctor about this yesterday because the baby had a well-check appointment, and I have to be honest: I was not at all pleased with her response.  I understand that those in the medical profession are obligated to report abuse, but I would have to question why this medical assistant would not mention her concerns to the doctor and instead made a beeline for the CPS Hotline.  Interesting to say the least.

What really burns me is that I can do nothing about it.  She can disrupt our life for two months, risk having my children removed from my home, interrupt the baby's adoption, and I have zero recourse.  You can say anything about anyone, but that person can't stand up for themselves?  Unbelievable.

I am currently researching other pediatricians.  I cannot continue to take my children somewhere that makes me uncomfortable or puts my kids at risk.  We have been going there for over 10 years, and I hate to move, but I just can't go back.  I am frustrated, hurt, angry, and I feel completely helpless.

I really need to put this all behind us very, very soon.

Feels Like I'm Just Standing Still

The baby is legally free and ready for adoption!!!  I can't believe it!  I am so excited!  And I am so ready to make it official!  I cannot wait to finally change his name and show him off to the world!  It feels like it has taken forever to get to this point, and then I realize it has only been nine months since we started our journey with him.  The only hiccup we have had is the bogus child abuse allegation, which has set us back at least 45 days, and also means his adoption will not be complete by National Adoption Day on November 23rd.  I am really shooting for the end of the year, but before Christmas would be even better!

We have been haunted by this child abuse allegation for what seems like forever!  To date, I have not received the Closure Letter which I need not only to renew our Foster License, but to finish our Adoption Certification.  CPS has 45 days to complete the report and mail it to me, and they have used every single one of those 45 days.  Technically, yesterday was the 45th day, and I am really hoping I have the letter in my mailbox today or tomorrow.  I really want this letter in my hand because the baby has a 9-month well check on Monday with his pediatrician, and you can bet we will be having a conversation about this allegation and how it came from her office.  The more I think about the turmoil this medical assistant has caused my family, the angrier I get.  Whether or not I continue to take my kids to this pediatrician's office depends on her reaction to what I have to say.

Our Foster License renewal is coming up, and Joe and I have decided that we will continue to foster.  We did, however, change our age range from 0-3 years to 0-12 months.  And I mean months, not 12 months plus.  We have also decided that once our Adoption Certification, and the baby's adoption, is complete we will go on the Adoption Registry and adopt a child in foster care who is already "legally free"- meaning no bio parents, no visits, no long term back-and-forth, and NO MORE LAZY CASEWORKERS.  We will be matched with a child, have a period of getting to know each other and making sure it is a fit, and moving forward.  If the match doesn't fit, we walk away and will be matched with another child in need of a home.

We have also determined that we (I) am not made for little girls, so we also changed our license to reflect boys only.  I can't take it.   I've tried, but the drama, the whining, the drama, the attitudes, the drama!  I also don't have an extra bedroom for a little girl, so maybe that should be my excuse instead.  ***Disclaimer:  I love all of my nieces to pieces, but I have a lot of respect for my sisters and sisters-in-law.  I don't know how you do it.  I will take dirt, trains, noise, etc. any day!  Plus, boys love their mamas :)

Here's to hoping we have a Closure Letter in hand soon and we can get on with this adoption already!